Most Popular Posts since I started blogging in Feb 2008:

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Candy Land

did you watch this video?
Kate Perry feat. Snoop Dogg - "California Gurlz"



You don't have to be an ex-junkie like me to get the message that getting high is cool. I don't know if that's so good.

BEACH - CANDY - SEX ....
..... ah the good times :-)

Yolanda Be Cool & Dcup - We No Speak Americano

it's 105F degrees and POOL TIME!!

Time to get wet, get drowned a little ... :-)

the last 2 weeks I went to the pool after work almost every day (mostly with Josh!!)

I love it when we smell like sun from being out all day, SPF-55 on the skin, pool, cum, ...

this is good music to go with it, from Aussie land

Kylie Minogue - All The Lovers

cool music and very good for the pool ... but only straight people in it for "lovers"

Frustration Balls

I just saw these on facebook and Josh found (and bought) them on the website (ravenseden.com):










































he got them in skin color though. he said when I am not around he can practice on them, or when we are around somewhere in public and gets horny (like he is ever not horny), I get to see what he does later with mine when hes got the chance.

He also bought some nasty slap glove though that he saw while looking for the squeeze balls.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Today is my birthday

So today is my birthday. And I am 29 now, thats almost 30.

Birthdays used to be fun, all big parties and getting fucked up, gangbangs or whatever, all that

but with 29 I am not "cute" anymore and I guess I should feel all adult. Mostly I have been really depressed to extremely depressed all day and just before lunch I went to the bathroom and cried. I don't really know why, I just felt it coming and I went to the bathroom cos I didnt want anyone to see. At work nobody knew it was my birthday anyway.

Back when Noah was still there, he kept a calendar of everyone's birthday and always did something special. Nothing like really big but he'd tell the manager and the maneger would come and say happy b-day and then there would be like a little cake for everyone like for desert or something.

My boyfriend is like waaay too sweet right now it worries me. Last night he woke me like most nights when he gets horny again. But he only said happy birthday, and he didnt hit me and he didnt fuck me, just held me and was being nice. Normally he just hits me and fucks me till he gets off and I can get back to sleep since I have to be at work at 7:30 but that way I couldnt go back to sleep cos I was worriing about what was going on.. he is never like that. I thought maybe he just waits until I drift off and THEN he hits my nuts like extra hard and fucks me till I cry or something like that.. like cos its my birthday but nothing. After I while I knew he just went back to sleep. I dont know that worried me even more.. he is always so horny, and one night he only fucks me once? I dont know maybe he fucked someone else earlier? defenetiely nothing I could go back to sleep on.

I hate stuff thats out of the oridenary. This evening I had to work late and i called him to let him know so he doesn't think I am just late and he didnt even quizz me about it or checked with my manager if I was lying. When he says oh dotn worry its ok then I really start to worry. But he was all sweet and he even had a present for me!!! The same watch he got that I love so much.. bright yellow it looks so happy and like summer. He even let me chose if I wanted his or the new one and of course I wanted HIS and he knew it and let me have it. And then he hugged me (!!!) .. and he didnt knee me in the balls or anything he just hugged. That almost made my stomach turn cos I knew something is up.. he is NEVER liek that in over 4 years, almost 5. And then he kind of kissed me!! and said happy birthday again. That wa sjust too much I knew he was just going to dump me now and being sweet about it and I completely broke down. I don't want to live anymore if he dumps me. He is NEVER ever that nice.. I couldnt help it it just came over me and I couldnt stop it, it was just  too much.

It took like a good half hour or so until he got  me to listen enough to say he wasnt going to dump me at all. Now I feel sooooo stupid but I am also so releeved!!! I guess just cos its my birthday and I am so horrified I am getting too old for him I am a little on the fritz. He always fucks these really young hot guys .. and he never lies about it or makes me watch and then he says I am older but still the hottest cos he can really hit me so hard and it gets him off. Every thime he says that with my age it makes me flinch and I guess on birthdays its the worst and next year it's 30 OH MY GOD.

I think it put him off some that I so totally broke down earlier about that.. he hates sissies so much. Josh didnt say anything and maybe its just my imagination 'cos I am so on the fritz today. Now he is cooking dinner and said for me to chill some. He even gave me some red wine and said its ok to drink.

Josh also said he was actually taking me out for dinner but if I am "a little emotional" maye is better if we stay in and he cooks some. I am kind of really glad cos I HATE going out and always have to studder to the waiter and everyone and tonight I think it would of been really bad anyways. But my stomach is having cramps... Josh is never so nice and it makes me worry. I hope he is not just being sweet for one last fuck and tomorrow morning he kicks me out... almost 5 years is a looooong time for him to fuck just one ass more than others. If he does I kill myself. Maybe I am also just totally stupid. With Josh I never know and thats what he likes that you never know.. maybe he is just real sweet for a day cos its my birthday and next week he beats the hell out of me and I am in the ER again. I don't know if I should be worried or not. he is in the kitchen and fryign something and seems happy and I dont know if I should go and stand around or not cos I don't want to piss him off or anything.

Why does it have to hurt so much to love somebody and why does it have to be so complicated? Can't I just love a guy like him and it be easy, and maybe he loves me back a little too and not just getting off on me like crazy? I am TOTALLY fine with the getting off on me if thats why he lets me stick around

or maybe I am just really off the roll today and emotional on birthdays and its just all in my imagination. I know like when you read this you prolly think I am stupid. My bf (who I cant say is my boyfriend) is nice he got me a present, he is cooking us dinner, and later he will definitely fuck my brains out (THAT part at least is predictible) so what can I be bitching about or worry. I dont know I just cant think of living without him

6 years ago when I was still a junkie I knew how to fix this.. I would just get so high and I knew all the dudes that would fuck me for hours and I would forget about all that worry. The sucky part is that I know that know and I cant do that and its SO HARD not just to get wasted on ways Josh couldnt say much about like vicodin that I would say is meds. Maybebe he wouldnt catch me but if he did, i know he is DEAD serious that he would a) break my balls first and b) dump me second.

There were SO MANY times when that was my last rescue when I was THIS close to give in and get high. I know Josh isnt' shitting and if he catches me doing drugs then he WILL 1st break my balls in no way I dig and 2nd he WILL dump me. And cos I know he isnt shitting me when it gets down to it, I don't do it. He is my  life saver. Not just the guy who fucks my brains out and makes me cum 10 feet sometimes, or the guy who hurts me worse than any of the fucks that were foster dads or other guys I've been with, or the guy who hits me just cos he had a bad day, but also the guy I love with more than I can imagine and the guy I love.

And I sit here and worry he could dump me for getting older or whatever. Now I kind of feel stupid myself typing this. At least you know why I always use "FUBAR" in my chat names or whatever. I defeneitely am fucked up beyond all recog.

I guess I take it a day at a time (or however that goes). Tognith he is defeneitely going to have me hard and tomorrow we see

thanks for reading.. somehow I feel better now and I will go in the kitchen and see what hes up to. Worst case he's gonna kick me in the nuts and thats not the worst thing cos hes gonna get a boner

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Antonov 225 - biggest aircraft

I got these pics from my friend Hugh in Canada:






















all of them are in my picasa:

http://picasaweb.google.com/KevinRFUBAR/Antonov225#

VOTE Please!!

I am at a TOTAL (!!) loss if, who, and how many actually read all this crap I write on my blog.

Lately I have been writing more about important things like the Oil Spill and HIV/AIDS and those things.

But I wonder if anyone is interested in that or if you just want to read about sex stuff and pain.

Please vote or say why you read my blog?

kevinriederer@yahoo.com

Thanks
Kev

Friday, July 23, 2010

HIV Viral loads and your life circumstances

In this week's Dallas Vioice is an article about Dustin Mattlage who is HIV liek me and who got evicted. And now his viral load went through the roof. They are trying to show that if you got stress in your life or a lot it can affect how your HIV goes.

My own tcell count too a nosedive last week but like my bf (and my doc) said it bounced back. And I don't even have any special stress.. I love my bf and he fucks me, I have a job and do ok. But I freak when my tcell do down with no reason and I have a lil bit of an obsession to check for any signs of karposi. Thats what really freaks me out what if I start getting that what will my bf say or do.. like if hes gonna puke and dump me.

"Mattlage said a recent 200-point drop in his CD4 count was caused by the stress of a current eviction demonstrates the importance of stable housing for people living with AIDS." I think that is def true. I have my own place and I pay my rent but what I really want is to move in with my boyfriend like all official but he gets mad when I even bring it up. I do worry whats gonna happen tho if I get really sick. The meds make me feel like shit and throw up and all that sometimes, but it's not that I am really SICK. I was a lot more sick when I was still a junkie years ago, only it didn't feel like it, but I was.

Anyway I figured I should mention this one. The full story is in the papers this week and its online here too: Dallas Voice Story

Saturday, July 3, 2010

SAWSTOP in TimeWarp

what is this?

also from Hugh:



Credit Card Insert
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.' 


I get that she was too dumb not to know it's not an ATM, 'cos ATMs are not at work - but what is a "floppy drive"? Her tits?

Ontario Police entrance exam

from my friend Hugh Roney.
I should move to this Ontario!!!

A Toronto man is seeking to join the Toronto Police Force.

 
The Sergeant doing the interview says: "Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted."

Then, sliding a pistol across the desk, he says:

"Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal Jamaican immigrants, six drug dealers, six Muslim extremists, and a rabbit. "

"Why the rabbit?"

"Great attitude," says the Sergeant. "When can you start?"

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Fighting for Peace is like Screwing for Virginity

Hey all,

I guess it is about time for a new post. That huge oil spill really tears me up, that's why I put those videos up, but didn't feel like writing much about it.

It's like I take my re-usable bag to the grocery store, to save a plastic bag made from oil, and at the same time we spill 1 MILLION BARRELS into the ocean. Just feels so pointless.

And speaking of pointless: "Fighting for Peace is like Screwing for Virginity" I got that from my friend Hugh in his daily funny e-mails from Canadia (I couldn't come up with that of course). Obviously, there is a lot of truth in that. Let me talk about Fighting for Peace first:

I met a gut this week, who brought his car to the shop where I work. Pan gasket blown, so his engine was really loosing a lot of oil, and that takes a long time to fix. He knew it. Did not have a ride, so he was just waiting and waiting and waiting to see what we could do. This is one of those un-thankful jobs, so I got it.

LOL I am not complaining, but my efficiency rating is really good, and even tho all my coworkers are really cool with me, it starts ticking them off a bit. And management is really happy with me, but they think the other guys should have a chance to get their hands on the efficiency bonus - only they SUCK and don't care to do a good job, and that is why they don't get it. OK let's just say it is a bit rocky at work, and I get the hard cases, and everyone else the easy ones right now.

Yeah, so this dude. He came with his truck and it was dripping coming in, and he didn't even have a ride. He looked messed up, like, you know, broken. He was sitting on the curb, sort of waiting for the verdict, LOL. I could see him from my bay. So I went up to the office and told them the truck needs at least the pan gasket and looks like the water pump (cos it's leaking), meaning timing belt, too. The guy zip-tied one of the cables inside, so he didn't look like he had that kind of money to spend. Mike did not really want to tell him, so he said if I wanted to show it to the customer? He said the book says at least 12 hours labor for all, and if he asked, the gasket is $50 and the water pump $130, but he should be doing the timing belt, too.

Normally I NEVER talk to customers except when they come to the back to get their cars and to give me a tip LOL.. but I got this vibe about that guy and that is why I said ok. So I went to him ont he curb and said dude you wanna come look and he just got up and sort of trotted after me. I really don't know why, but he gave me the vibe that he's been through a lot. And not even old, I figured younger than me, maybe 25, and in some ways cute.

So I show him where the gasket popped out and why it is leaking so badly. Adn where the water pump leaks. He just looks and doesn't say a word, so I tell him the tranny has to come out to raise the engine a bit to get the pan off, otherwise I can't get to the gasket. And he gives me this look, that reads like "I am so fucked" but it's like a sad thing. He didn't even say anything, so I told him yeah thats a lot of hours. I don't even have the heart to tell him what the waterpump costs and about the timing belt, and for sure not about anti-freeze and HazMat and all the stuff Mike adds up to it in the office.

Thats why I HATE to talk to customers .. I feel bad for them, but it's not my fault that there cars are often so fucked up and it just is a lot of work and parts to get them back together! And in a way, especielly with this dude... I felt he just got screwed royally and thats why I even agreed to go talk to him. I guess I felt I could relay to what he is going through, whatever that is.

OK, I am not wanting to lie to you but I had kid of a GUT feel what that was.. he looked like a military guy, one of those vets that got back and are waaaayyyy too fucked up to get back into normal life. It was just a vibe but he sure looked and acted the part. I met too many of these guys through Josh and Master Mitchell, and all their military buds.

So this guy still had not said one word. Dude, this is your fucking truck, not mine. You are already in for the diagnostics and shit (unless Mike has a really good day up front) so you better talk... ok I didn't say it but I was getting just a tick annoyed that I was the only one talking, and as FUBAR as I am, this is my fucking job. And NOT my job to talk to customers at all, I kind of went out of my way already.

Anyway, he finally worked himself up to say that this looks like it is going to cost a bundle to fix? And he said that sort of in a resigning way, like he was totally bummed out. I guess I knew why, of course it is costly, like $1,500 minimum (or 2k after Mike is done) and I felt he may have had like $20 in his pocket.

I just said dude you can't drive it like that.. you are lucky you made it here, it dripping as bad as it is. He just shook his head, and I just asked him whats the deal with you?

LOL he gave me this looooooooong look,like he was thinking if it was even worth the effort telling me, or just walk away from his truck. That happens, sometimes, we have two cars right now sitting, where the custies just walked away frustrated.

So whil ehe is thinking about that, I suddenly realized that I did not studder a single time talking to him!!! I mean not ONCE. Just because I was not even thinking, and was just so into the situation. LOL of course with that second, I knew the next thing I would open my mouth for, it was over with that.

So then he says dude, I can't do it. I just got back from Iraq, my 3rd tour, my girl kicked me out the day after I got back and she has a new guy, I am basically on the streets, and starting my truck after over a year, it starts pissing oil (by the way, this is a 2006 Chevy with just 43k miles on it).

What the fuck am I gonna do now? So here is a straight dude whose been obviously through a lot, in some fucked up country that doesn't even want our help, and who is very obviously fucked up. And then he comes back, his chick fucks a new dude, tells him to get lost, and then his truck of course doesn't work right (no wonder, if you let it sit for a year).

I wasn't really sure what to say. I mean that is just fucking WRONG. If you are with a soldier, you don't go fuck around, and that's true for str8 or gay, Forget about the don't ask don't tell, this is just not right (they still haven't repeeled that, have they?). I guess if anyone gets screwed being sent over there and risk their lives, just because they joined up to get an education and a chance in life, they deserve some respect, and some help when they come back. And mostly, if they got fucked up in the head doing it!

I couldn't think of anything to say so I asked him so what you with, Army, Airforce, or what? And he says army, nothing even cool like the Navy boys or Airforce. That made me sad.

So fuck. I know why I don't deal with customers, this is exactly why. Now I suddenly felt this was my problem somehow, not his. But with this dude, I wasn't mad, I guess it's just fate. So I told him to hang there, and went up to the office to go see Mike. LOL of course now my studderuing is back at the worst ever! I just meant to ask Mike if there was any chance if he would OK it to give the guy a break, being a fucked up vet and all but Mike did not even wait for 2 minutes for me to try to get that out. Most people get really impatient, and very fast. But at leas he got the drift, and very fast. He said the guy doesn't have the cash, right? So I nod. You want to help him out? I nod again. Mike looked at me in this "way" he got and then said "ok...." can he pay for the parts? LOL I was trying to say something but Mike said so if I wanted to sort that out with him, so I could just nod again - which I did. So then Mike looks at me and said SO WHAT?? Go talk to him and find out! And if you want to put in the labor, you know you are not going to get paid for the time, and it's not going into efficiency rating, right?

OK why am i feeling suddenly bad for trying to be a good guy?????? Anyway...

I don't even bother try to talk to the guy if he has the cash for the parts. Cos I forgot to say he was eying the water fridge we have (clear door), and when I told him dude get one if you want, it's free, and he gulped it down, but didn't dare get another one, so I went back myself and got him 2 more.

So I thought I call Josh... you have been reading my blog, and some of you sent me emails and stuff and think he is like the complete asshole or whatever, 'cos like he is with me. And I love him but many of you don't understand. But he is not like that at all.

So I called Josh, in the middle of the day, at work, and of course I can get hardly one word out. And like I've said, he can read my mind (ok maybe this one wasn't so difficult to figure out). He got the basics down fast and said don't worry, it will get sorted out. Tell the guy to chill and wait and start working. I KNOW WHY I LOVE JOSH. He knows what needs to be done, and he gets it done. I didn't even bother to go up front and talk to Mike, and since it was slow and I didn't have anything else to work on, I tried to tell the dude to chill and that it's gonna get worked out. Fat chance. He gives me this look but I guess he doesn't want to be judgmental about the studdering, so i finally scribbled on a pad "it's gonna be OK, go chill for a while". And get to work. Iknow when Josh is on it, I don't need to worry. Not if it's about serious shit, he would never ever leave me hanging there.

So, like 2 hours later, I got the tranny out, oil drained, engine propped up some to get the pan off, and about ready to need parts, and of all people JOE pulls up. LOL if you have been reading my blog for a while, you know who he is...... the big black guy who loves eating me for breakfast just because I am racist about black people, He tore into me a few times just for fun for that.

Anyway, so Joe pulls up, and I know there can only be one reason, and that is because of this guy and Josh. I wasn't worried though... Joe is AD, and I know all these military dudes stick together when it comes down to it.

Joe goes straight up to the office to Mike. LOL I have to say I was very curious what happened next :)

So after a  couple of minutes, Mike and Joe come out to the shop to talk to me. Mike says are you ok to work on this for free, basically? This guy is going to pay for the parts. What can I say, so i get out a 'yeah' since Mike sees I got a lot of it apart already. And Mike gives me this look, like he is going to say "what is going on here that I don't know?" but shruggs his shoulders, and Joe talks to me the first time, like he has never seen me before in his life, and says if I think I can finish it by the end of the day? I am trying to say if I get the parts, then yeah (cutting it really close tho) but Mike picks up on that and says yeah the parts can be here in less than 20 minutes, so I can just nod.

So Joe says to Mike, OK lets do this and Mike walks backup front to get the parts and finish the papers. Joe stayed behind and and kind of headnutted me with his fist, and said "dude, I give you this one" (meaning something like he liked it). Then he went out to the guy, and after a few minutes they left together.

So I get cracking, cos to finish that, it is going to take a while... Mike came back al ittle bit later and had the gasket, the water pump, and the timing belt, and also some spark plugs, wires, and oil.... I knew this meant skippinglunch and maybe doing some over time. But hey, I was SURE this would get back to Josh somehow, and that cannot be bad :)

So i put in some effort, and got it all finished 10 mins to closing. Even adjusted the timing and fixed a few other small things. Joe and the guy didn't show up though, and 10 minutes after we closed, Josh calls, and says to hang out. SO just a minute later Mike came and said whats the deal with my friends (friends???) and I get out somehow they are coming. So Mike says it's all paid, if I want to stay and wait for them with the truck and key? So I do, and he closed up and everyone leaves.

TWO HOURS (!!!!) later Josh pulls up with the guy. When they get out of his car, the guy looks a little wobbly, and Josh just says to me to give him the keys. And then he introduces us, and says Kevin here fixed you up, and the other guy is Larry. That is the first time I even heard his name.

Larry is really done though... I guess it has been a while that anyone was nice to him, and he was obviously worked up a lot. He shook my hand but then he just kind of hugged me. That was a bit weird, I mean for a straight military dude, but sweet anyway. Josh said Kevin tell him you fixed him up right, but -fuck doh!!- I coudn't get a word out, so Josh said to Larry, don't worry, it's all fixed right.

And he said you will have dinner with us on Thursday, like that wasn't a question.

With that Larry takes off, and he seems really happy and awestuck. That did make me feel happy, too.. I mean i basically worked all day for nothing (free), but it still made me feel good, and MOST IMPORTANT, Josh liked it.

So yeah it was worth it. Josh took me to dinner (!!!!) and got me drunk (!!!!) and lol you know what happened later :-)

And that Thursday we did have dinner with that guy, and Joe was there, too. But he was all cool and chill, and I was at my very best behavior. he whole time I was expecting Joe to pull something with me, but he was all nice, really nice to that guy, got him to talk and shit, and it was chill.

By the way, just listening to this guy: you really (!) don't want to join the army and get sent to Iraq or Afghanistan or wherever. This is really fucked up, and when you get back, you get fucked even worse.

And you think, you fight for freedom and peace.
But is there peace in Iraq now? No.
Do we even have their oil? No. We have a huge oil spill here instead.
How many of our boys are dead for this? Over 5,000
How many of those coming back are fucked up? All of them.

So: Fighting for Peace is like Screwing for Virginity

I have been screwing LOTS since i was 12 (well, got screwed), and I only got further away from virginity.
Obviously.

I guess I don';t need to talk about screwing too much.... onyl that I get it a lot, it's a lot of fun, too, because it's my bf doing it :)

All the other stuff just comes with it. ike having to go to Master Mitchell's sometimes, JOsh fucking around a lot, hitting a lot more than it's fun, and all that.

Monday, May 24, 2010

"Family Values"

[updated/changed.. I got a kick in the nuts for some of what I wrote so I had to change/delete a few things .. so far for 1st amentment. And everyone reading this anyway has to CLICK on the ADULT WARNING .. so what can they complain about???]

Don't you love all those people who make themselves look christian and upright for standing for "moral values" and "family values"?

Yahoo (amongst the individual fuckers of that class) has been known for that... they have all these "smut" groups, through which they earn revenue (LOL what's left of it) while randomly deleting some without warning.

Today someone at Yahoo decided to delete my Yahoo Mail and Messenger account. Just like facebook, they don't even bother to say why or that they do (did) it, they just let you find out when you try to log in.

Hm... and that is how they want to recapture the business they lost to Google in the last 10 years? This is not a company ethic I could, or would, subscribe to, use, or promote anymore.

And while I am on this... Josh said someone asked him about me in this frosty way like "there is some pornographic material" .. "linked to your name" with "men and men" and "a bag on the head" .. so who is "Kevin Fubar"? LOL!!! Nosy, nosy, but couldn't even find my real name that's on a bunch of my accounts on facebook etc) And the best thing: this came from [deleted] ... what's the saying on that, aren't they [deleted] all bottoms? :-) Just ask Ross and his cousin (who is in the Navy...). I hate bigotry. And all the fake "Don't Ask Don't Tell" stuff, anyway. History books will not talk kindly about this .. but by then we are all dead and who cares. But for today, make someone happy: fuck a [deleted]!! ;-)

more later.. I have to do some really pornographic stuff with my boyfriend and tell you about the super GAY sex orgy from last weekend some other time.... (only HOT GAY guys doing it in really pervert pornographic ways with each other!)

P.S.: for Hugh in Canada (Hawk) - you have to e-mail me on Gmail ("kevinrfubar@gmail.com") please, and I'll set up a different chat client...

P.P.S.: you probably figure I had to write it like this because the same dudes who showed themself to be so outraged about my blog are reading it anyway with their dicks out and jerking. That's why I hate this biggot lying so much. Oh or even watching my jerk video while they do it and say something really mean and gaybashing or so about me

Monday, May 10, 2010

Yugo

Doesn't look so different from todays subcompacts ...

Got to work on one in ths shop 2 weeks ago and saw this today:

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Sausage Fest (Russia)

Josh says this is called "sausage fest" und its really a lot better like they allow to show on YouTube LOL. He says after a couple rounds it's not so much about getting the "sausages" of the guys in the other team but their nuts and later when some of the guys are out of the game cos their hurting too much, and everybody gets drowned in vodka, the worst losers and the newbies get stripped.

Sounds fun to me :-)

Something is wrong with YouTube embeds these days... you may have to double click on it and watch it on youtube directly



Saturday, May 8, 2010

Two Choices - The Story about Shay

(I got this from my friend Hugh up in Canadia. It made me cry so I figure I put it up on my blog:)


What would you do?....you make the choice.

Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway.

The question is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:

'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.
Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first! Run to first!'

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.
He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!' Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball. The smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.
All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay' Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third! Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:

We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate. The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference.

We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.'

So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:

Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.

You now have two choices:

1. Move on to some of my other posts that may make you jerk off or fuck up your boy friend.

2. Forward this to some people you know.

May your day be a Shay Day!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Tired, Beaten, and Happy!

Tonight we met up with Stukka for dinner. I just about made it after work, cos I had to shower and stuff. He is the guy who started the Kramtoad group on facebook. And who calls ballbusting "kramtoading"...

Josh has a HUGE boner for him and Stukka's bf Cooper is in London right now (England) but he didn't try to take Stukka home to fuck him even though I think Stukka was game, kinda.

Josh said for that I "would get it" when we got home. For not taking Stukka home. He knew I was watching what he'd do about Stukka.

That made me happy.. he picked me over Stukka.

What does he think, I suddenly get scared from him threatening me to beat me up? I got a BONER! Not like I'd  get it anyways, all it takes is him feeling like it.

Of course I did get it :-) ... but hey its 10pm and I am already sitting at the PC again so it wasnt so bad and I got to shoot a big load for him (not as big as his..he got off gooooood!).

This time he really hit me, before he even started on my nutz.

I am so happy Josh rather did it with me than Stukka. I now Josh (my Josh) has a BONER for Stukka (the other Josh), and Stukka is probably easier game now since his bf is gone to UK since he (Cooper) doesn't really bust so hard (not so much his thing)... so  while he's gone... :) I think Stukka was game tonight.


So yeah... I am happy!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

My Doc says it's OK to eat Bavaria


LOL so Stukka is trying to get us dragged out to eat at this Bavaria Grill up in Plano, just cos he got SLUSHED there on some German beer. I checked today with my doc it it's even safe for me to eat this stuff from there web site (at http://www.BavariaGrill.com ) and she laughed and said I don't to worry just don't get like TOOOO drunk

She's cool.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

wet n slimey and with a boner :)

Wet in the shower - SEXY LEGS

Boy Punchers

Getting Wet in Clothes

LOUISIANA Oil rig EXPLOSION, Gulf of Mexico, offshore drilling platform,...

Gulf Coast Oil Spill In-situ burn

Guy Jerking off at the gym

I totally forgot about this!


This cute guy on facebook wrote to me  about gyms I go to and that reminded me:

I have a (cheap) membership for [NAME OF FITNESS CHAIN] and I can go to most of the clubs. Near work and near where my place is (even tho I'm like almost never there) and the one close to my bf's house. I work out a lot so that helps.

The Addison location on Belt Line is kind of cruisy .. mostly older guys and they stare and most touch themselves but never really say anything or make a move (not that I want them too, I don't cheat on my bf!!).

Its kind of weird though .. there is a 40-something year old 2 weeks ago with a belly and he followed me around in the club working out, and then to the lockers and totally stares and doesn't even try to hide it. Then he goes in the shower just opposite of mine and jerks off and looks at me like I am supposed to do something (and what he is showing off is also kind of small, when hard). Hard to ignore though. Don't know if the guy thought that was hot or something? ... for him or for me?

Maybe he thinks it's "WILD" to jerk off in front of a guy at the gym. LOL.. I can hardly tell him what my bf does with me, can I? And what would that be good for, it would kill all his jerking fantasies.

I wish guys wouldn't do that, though, it is kind of gross.

(I figured it's probably not a good idea to say what fitness chain it is ... because of stalkers and also so I don't get in trouble .. or to get me to talk about really pervy older guys and stuff when I was a teen at the YMCA).


Monday, May 3, 2010

Oil Rig Burning

This looks almost apocalyptic

























... and I have to use a bag of Oil-Dry when I spill just a little oil at work in the shop, and get yelled at (a little)

A Little Time Saver Patch

OK here is another one for fun :)

The other day I needed to go to the emergency room.     

Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my old Army fatigues and stuck a patch onto the front of my shirt that I had downloaded off the Internet.

When I went into the E.R., I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left.  I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all.  Cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time.

Here's the patch.  Feel free to use it the next time you're in need of quicker emergency service.

It also works at DMV it saved me 5 hours.

And the Laundromat three minutes after entering I had my choice of any machine most still running.

Don't try it at McDonald's, the whole crew got up and left and l never got my order.

Walmart Wine

OK this was too funny not to post it on my blog - I laughed so hard, cos it's true!!
(Got it from my friend Hugh up in Canada)
 



Walmart has recently announced that, sometime in 2010, it will begin offering customers a new discount item - Walmart's very own brand of an unparalled wine.
The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2 - $5 range.
 

Wine connoisseurs may not be so inclined to put a bottle of the Walmart brand into their shopping carts, but "there is a market for inexpensive wine," said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at the University of Arkansas.

"But the right name is important."
 

Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Walmart wine brand.

The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:

10.  Chateau Traileur Parc
  9.  White Trashfindel
  8.  Big Red Gulp
  7.  World Championship Riesling
  6.  NASCARbernet
  5.  Chef Boyardeaux
  4.  Peanut Noir
  3.  I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar
  2.  Grape Expectations
  1.  Nasti Spumante

The beauty of the Walmart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or dark meat (Squirrel.)

P.S. Don't bother writing back that this is a hoax or check it on Snopes. I know possum is not a white meat.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

1,001 Friends on facebook



WOW ... I have 1,001 friends on facebook as of today (now).

And that is AFTER I got deleted before..

I am for sure not linking this blog to facebook again, I think that is what got me killed then, even if they never said why.

"Boner Bridge"


isn't that cool?

it's not a "bridge" but an underwater connection in Sweden. You all know how much I like water and wet :)

.. i'd probably have a boner going on that road


.

Work Out Results!!


This morning I asked Josh if I could put this new picture up and he says "yeah ok"

so now you can see :)

I have been working out so hard to stay hot for him. The meds make me lose so much weight and I have been trying to eat and put more muscles on. I am still way too skinny but at least he likes it this way



I still have these skinny legs :( ... wish I could so something about that.

Master Mitchell says they are good, straight rails and guides upwards when he kicks me in the balls .. like he ever misses anyways.

Grocery shopping geek

I was getting Cokes and stuff and watched this guy at the other isle.

I always go to the automated cashier... cos of my studder, so i don't have to talk to anybody.

And I don't want anybody to get cute with me, cos when Josh sees that he just gives me a headbutt (or worse).

Anyway this guy waved the cashier girl over and showed her his phone (one of those smart things that cost a lot) and she scanned something directly off the screen. It took a while cos the scanner wouldn't take it at first .. long enough to get my (simple) cell out and take the picture...

funny, I thought, someone pays like $500 or more for a phone like that and $80 a month or so for the contract (3 years??) to save 50 cents on something and he has to spend 2 to 3 minutes to get the bargain (I just stuff the paper in the slot after scanning and it takes 10 seconds) ....

The Buell Ulysses

"Busted & Broken" .... I like that :-)

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Update (again) ... haven't written (again) in so long

OMG!! I haven't written A THING this year yet. Sorry I don't know why this happens..

I just got a mail from a guy and he said reading my blog really helped him a lot. That's good. I don't know what it helped him with though. His name on Recon was soemthing with "sub" so I guess it's helping him to accept that side of him that likes to serve or get hurt or both.Hey if it helps him thats what counts.


So I have been to Louisiana lots to visit with my twin bro in Angola. By now I know the area around the West Feliciana Parish pretty good! What I don't get is why people say Angola is so bad. I've been in several pens myself before and where they had Clayton before was a lot worse too. The people at Angola are really OK (its still the pen but compared..). He is with someone now and he seems a lot more relaxed. I guess he has kind of accepted who is is now and is finally starting to accept it. Too bad he had to almost kill someone for it. He is asking me a lot of questions about it, too. That is good. I guess you can't have a gay and a straight twin .. one has got to be lying to himself. I just wish he wasn't doing time and we could spend time together, like outside. At least this way I know where he is and he can't be going nowhere.

Josh thinks its good I go see him a lot. With Josh I never know what he is thinking so I am happy he likes this.

Work is really going good! I still have the top efficiency spot and I did get all the bonus in a row and the extra premium. Most of it I used for gas and motels going to Louisiana and for presents.

Tomorrow is flecktarn again. Its either I just sit around and get ignored OR Josh totally lets me hang there to dry. Last week I got so beat up and then I had to go to Mitchell's on Friday and he kicked in my balls really bad this time. I don't know what I did to Master Mitchell that he is always so mad at me. I always served him good before Josh and never did nothing wrong with him.

I am tired so I quit for now. At least I wrote something!!

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