The guys at work were awesome

(this is a sample pic not from my work)

About 3 weeks ago now at work, we were all just doing our jobs and this customer drove all around to the back and didn't even go to the office first. He got out of his truck and just yelled into the shop if someone could look at his engine. He didn't yell at anyone special just wanted attention. Behaved like a redneck LOL.

Before anyone could even tell him to go to the office first, this guy looked at me and then yelled loud again, "anyone?" and then, and still looking at me, "no fucking faggot though". I have absolutely no clue why he would think of me as that, but hey.. maybe he has a working gaydar.

Anyway two of the guys then walked out to him and one dropped his wrench right in front of the guy so that it almost hit the dudes feet, and said very loud to him "nobody is gonna work on your fucking truck, no faggots or otherwise and you better fuck off really fast" and he really got in his face. With that several of the other guys also came out and the dude got in his truck and peeled out.

I thought that was SO AWESOME!! They all went back to work as if nothing was happened, just one of them grinned at me. They all know by now that I am gay and all that but it's cool. That is a long long long way since the days Shane worked there and he could throw and hit me with bolts or wrenches and nobody would stop him or say anything!!

Efficiency Rating at Work

(catching up a little on my blog. Saturday afternoon, Josh is busy - probably with Cooper - and I am bored)

Work.... after Noah left to go to Oregon, and the new guy is here now for him, lots of things are changing. The new guy and the manager get along really good and the dude really OK.

Now we have a "Efficiency System" that counts what each guy gets done and how many comebacks he gets. I'm doing good with it and if it stays this way, I get a nice bonus for the quarter!! I am just doing my stuff and I get a lot done. The new guy likes me, he says I'm a good worker. I think the manager tipped him that I'm gay and poz, because the new guy brought it up but just to say he couldn't give a flying fuck who I'm boning. He was wanting to say he's cool with that, but then it must have made him think that maybe I was the one being boned and I could see it in his face and he got like totally red in the face! But it was just funny, he tried to be like totally nice and cool with it and it just backfired on him in a funny way. He's cool.

Thursday again and the Fort Hood Massacre

of course the big news today is the Fort Hood massacre. Crazy. When I heard it on the radio this afternoon of course I was shocked at first but then I thought of course Josh isn't on base right now but at the airfield in Fort Worth. Anyway there are 30,000 to 40,000 people in Fort Hood at any time so it wouldn't have been likely that he could have been any of the 11 killed or 31 wounded.



But you always think the worst. He was followign it close too I know and I called him on my break. Really sucks. But nobody he knows got hurt today. Thats good for us but of course it totally sucks for the families of those that got killed or wounded.

Otherwise my day was busy. WE AR TOTALLY SWAMPED. No idea whats going on.. maybe its the new guy that got Noah's job. I dunno but that is the only thing that changed lately, and the people even make lines now waiting for services and we have to park cars in the street! That must have been 2 or more years that we had to do that last. I flushed 3 radiaters today and did5 or 6 engine oil service and 3 transmissions, and thats not even all. Even had to cut my lunch short.. that was good though, first the manager came and gave me $20 cash if I went back to work right after eating (and no nappy) and then the custonmer tipped me another $10 cos he was waiting and he saw that I got back early on his car from lunch .. not bad!!!

Comes in real handy. Even though I don't have to pay for Noah's health insurance anymore so we don't lose the plan and I dont lose my insurance, I have to pay rent now that I have my own place again. If Josh would let me move in I'd be rich but hey he just wont have that ... the co-pay for my meds is still whats killing me

Last night was flecktarn, so I was a little queezy all day till afternoon sometimes. Good queezy though. At first they didn't take me, but the guy who got tied to "my" post didn't last all the way so when he crapped out they got me anyways, later. Was good last night.. I got gutpunched HARD for 30 minutes and that was it. At the end. Joe the big black guy gave me one hard knee in the balls.. I swear he always is out to break mine. But that was it and the guys were talking for a bit and I got to ride with Josh to his place :-) I figured he was fucking horny after all of this and I know him too good. I got my real beating for the night from him and he royally fucked my brains out.... nothing is as good as its with him!!! He didnt even kick me out after so I could sleep next to him. Of course like almost always he woke me at 3 or 4 for another fuck but I'm used that he wont let me sleep through. SO I had a hard time to keep my eyes open at first this morning and almost rear-ended a truck. But then it was so busy at work I forgot all that.

I guess thats all for today. I'm heading over, he said he would be later today cos of all the stuff going on down in Fort Hood tonight

that was just a quick entry

during my lunch break. I've been sooooo busy. Tonight I should finally get to catch up on everything in the last week and a half

Catching up on Wednesday

Ok. So i didnt get to write something all week so I'm catching up. Wow its like this all just comes out I wish I could talk like this. Yeah well. I'm wondering tho if he ever reads this im gonna be in a world of trouble or he lets me slide. I'm real curious what he thinks but also way scared to tell him. Some day he is gonna find out tho. But its also like I cant stop. And maybe a little so I leave something when I die from the aids when I get it. With the HIV its like I have a noose around my neck and I can drop any second and its over. Most days I dont think about it just every time in the days before I have to go to a checkup again its coming back and like hard. But that was today, on Friday, and I'm still writing for Wednesday.

So Wednesday morning I wake up cos I get cold and when I open my eyes its cos he pulled the blanket away and when I open my eyes he hits me in the balls, like with a total nasty suckerpunch. He LOVES it when he gets me cold like when I'm not thinking he would and I know him so most times I watch out like fuck. Gets me good and I curl up and hold my balls and try not to be so wimpy but then I think it turns him on so finally I get fucked. But nooooo he just gets up and grins and goes to set coffee. Fuck. Then he comes back and holds my T from last night and says seems like today I HAVE to wear one of his and hes ok with it. And tells me to get up and dressed and to get lost. Hes like so cold some days. I'm at work like 1 hour early and in a really crappy mood. The manager is late so everyones their waiting and Shane tries to chat me up some but I'm in no fucking mood and get snappy with him. He's getting ticked off some but then just before I get on his shit list for the day the new guy shows up, like just before the manager and Shane gets all set to make his day miserable and I'm scott-free. Isnt helping my mood tho, and its good I work by myself or someone gets the brunt of my crap. But theirs a lot of customers today so I got busy and the day goes by fast. Shane is on the new guy all day, if he keeps it up to the rest of the week the guy is gonna quit. After lunch it almost looked like he was gonna cry. What a wimp. Just takes the next guy to get on Shane's shit list and he wont have nothing to worry about. Shane can be a total ass tho.

At lunch I go early and by myself. Im feeling crappy and unhappy but i'm hungry and wednesdays they have a special for spagetti. Just $2.99 and its reall not bad or anything. I'm almost done, like just dipping the soce with the bread and my bf calls and says hey dont eat anything today. I know why, hes in the mood to go a little crazy tonight and doesnt want me to throw up. He doesnt even have to say it. I'm thinking should I say I already had the spagetti or should I say ok and just go and make myself throw up right now but then lying is the worst with him and before I can try saying anything theirs this call for number whatever and he knows where I'm at and just says too late huh? So he says we do it tomorrow and thats hes got something to do anyways and hangs up. FUCK. I never do anything right. Now he doesnt even want me to come over tonight. Totally wasnt helping with my mood, I was PISSED OFF at myself. And everyone else. Lucky I dont have much to do with the customers, and I'm just doing my shit and slamming stuff around and just before quitting time I hurt my arm on one of the lift just being mad and stupid. Helped me calm down some tho.

So after work I got my laundry and went to the coin wash place. Only people that dont speak english, only 1 other white guy their and lots of fat womens and little kids but I got to grind it out. I'm like super ticked off but after I got all my stuff done and I'm out of the place I got that behind me at least and I feel better. I was going to go eat something but I feel guilty about eating lunch before my normal lunch time when he called and its like I can punish myself by not eating anything. I was tired anyways so after getting home I went right to sleep. And glad another stupid fucking day without him is over.

Week Update, this is like for Tuesday

Now its Friday again and I havent written anything all week since Monday. Didnt have no time. Tuesday was like slow and the manager was like griping at everybody cos he didnt get no money in. He was in a shitty mood all day so every one else got kinda pissy too. Shane got in a pissing thing with the new guy and later when the manager was gone for a bit to bitch at someone else Shane punched the guy up some and later tripped him so he fell flat on some grease puddle. Sucks for him to be on Shane's shit list. I dont even know what it was all about. Shanes really not a bad guy but he can be a fucking ass if hes in his sicko mode. Better to watch out and stay away from him. I didnt have much to do all day anyway so I was like thinking what to do after work. If I should just go over to my bf's house or call him or if he maybe calls me or whatever. He didnt call tho and after work I showered real good and clean and went over. He wasnt their and I waited like almost an hour till he showed up. He was OK tho, I think he likes it when I just sit and sit their outside and wait for him, like whenever he comes even if its like really late. He was saying I didnt show up yesterday so if I was thinking today wouldnt be hurting less or what? I dunno what to say anyways so I didn't but I think he wasnt really wanting an anser. So I was figuring ok I get what I missed yesterday and he was gonna make it really painful but that was totally ok with me I had a boner anyways the moment I saw him. He looks so fucking hot in his jeans. I have to ask him for a picture sometime just of the legs how they stack. Looks better on him, on me it never works so good.

But he wasnt just gonna do me like that and plus he got some food, but just for himself, I guess he didnt think I would show or what, cos I didnt call. He gets a lot of chinese food and always with the chopstick i dont like but this time he fed me, like one for him and one for me kinda. I totally like it when hes nice like that. Except for I was so fucking horny, I'd rather had him do something else. Yeah well. So when the food was gone he said he needs a little nappy, long day and all but at least he lets me lie next to him. Of course I strip first and I have a boner like THAT but he's like ignoring it till I'm next to him. He grabs my balls like he always does but more like he holds then and nothing else, and hes like really going to nap. After like 5 minutes or so he says if my boner isnt going down and I wont let him sleep hes gonna make it go away. Like that's helping, my boner only got even stiffer, cos I know whats coming. Since he lying behind me like always, like we're both sideways, he lets go of my balls and gets them again only this time from behind between my legs and puts his other arms around my neck and starts pulling tight so I cant get no air. And then he's like working my balls, squeeze like hes wanting them to go mush and pulling like hes trying to rip them off. Hes doing it like always, like a machine that has like zero feelings and no mercy. I hate it when hes like that and I LOVE it cos hes is doing it like he doesnt care how I feel, only what he likes. He knows me waaay too good whats going on inside me and whats good for me. I can't even scream, I cant even get air. It HURTS, all i can do is like flop around and jerk like crazy, half next to him and half on top. Feeling the cho mein come up, cos my balls feel like their nit to my guts inside and making my stomach go in a spin. Like always he isnt stopping til I am almost out from no air and so much pain and I'm waiting for the endorphens to kick in but its not really coming. Then he quits for like a couple seconds and lets me get some air and im like coughing and crying and cent even see the light on the desk across the room good, cos of all the tears. He lets go of my balls and feels for my boner and I still got it going, hehe. Hes saying in my ear you little horny fucker but its not like hes mad I know he likes it I get off on serious nut pain and hes like just pretending like hes mad I didnt go limp. Hes still got me around my neck and I'm stil trying to get air so my mouth is wide open and he puts 2 fingers in like hes getting some spit for lube but my mouth is like all dry. So he turns me over some so I'm like half under him, and spits in his hand and rolls back and puts it like on my dick head and just plays some. And he jacks me, nut just like 2 or 3 times a little. This is def not working to make my boner go away. I can feel his in my back. I'm game for whatever only with him I neve rknow whats next. He could just be jacking me off, or put me in pain HELL just for kicks or he could choke me out all the way and be fucking my ass when I come around.. I cant just ever know. Only hes got a boner so whatever it is I'm gonna get off. And he will too, cos he wont just get worked up and not get off. I just want it to be really good for him. So he lets his hand just slide down and grabs my balls again and when hes got them tight so I try to inhale like deep and go all tense, he says like 'fine then, jerk off and maybe I can finally get my nap and I'm not stopping till you cum, so get it over with' and turns back so I'm lying on top of him, and he pulls my head back and chokes me again so my head is like next to his, totally bent back. I know he does that so when I jerk around from the pain I'm not banging my head into his. And he's letting my balls have it, a lot worse then before, like hes really for real trying to mush them or rip them off or both, like whatever comes first. Just for panic my left hand is gripping his left wrist but its not like I can make him let go of my balls or nothing but something I can hold onto, plus its hot to feel his muscles that control my balls. With my right hand I'm jerking like crazy but its hard cos with my nutsack and balls hes pulling all the skin down. I want to cum and fast before one of my balls pops or ripps. Its not working just hurting crazy, till I get over the hump where the endorphens finally kick in and I dont fucking care what happens and just dont want him to stop and just FUCK ME UP!!! But like most times its not taking long after getting over the hump and I shoot a big load all over me and some gets on him, cos I can feel him spit some like it got in his face. He is not stopping tho like he said but I knew that. After shooting my cum hes just tensing up his arm around my neck and I know he knows I'm gonna try real screaming in a second and he does that so I wont. And he squeezs my balls like he wants all the last bits of cum to get out and with them all empty it hurts like godmotherfuckingalot and I go beserk. He is just pushing me sideways and we roll off the couch and hes on me with all his weight and all I can do is flop some with my arms and legs and hope its over soon. After I cum its like POFF the endorphens are like gone and it just really fucking hurts and its like just for kicks hes doing double of whats hit and fun. And he soooo knows when its no fun anymore but thats when it gets real good for him. Most times its totally worth it, if it makes him get off really good and some of the fucks then are like real totally awesome. Finally he lets go of my balls and lets me breathe and I can feel HIS boner between my ass checks and on my back, I'm like sobbing and trying to catch air, and I feel like Ive been had and a floor mat, nothing more then a piece of meat to use like he wants to. Hes just moving some, his dick like forward and backwards in my ass crack and I'm like thinking PLEASE fuck me now, good and as hard as you can. But he doesnt, like he's gessed it and wont do it just cos I want him to. So he just fucks my crack till he blows all over my back and thenhe kinda sits up some and says what a fucking mess and gives me headnuckle. And he takes MY tshirt from the chair and wipes my back.

OK so I cant wear that to work tomorrow and I have to use one of his. I totally love wearing his stuff but he hates it so I already know I can grab one of his and if he thinks about it get racked so I'm hurting all day or put my T on with cum on it and someone is gonna say something stupid. I know hes doing it on purpose.

So then hes going back up on the couch and pulls me up to by my ear, and we're like exactly before he started and hes getting his nap and I feel sick and like shit, and try not to puke and not moving around so I wont keep him from napping. Oh god I love him! I feel him fall asleep and he feels so relaxed and his brething is like happy. His left arm is over me, and it feels heavy but thats only cos i'm about to get sick but I dont want to. Its so awesome to feel him next to me, and his arm over me is like it feels protective and also like at the same time like posessive. I feel happy and good in some way but I keep starting to think if I had put up a little fight like he likes it so much maybe I could have made him hurt me a lot worse and got fucked. I'm like thinking I did something wrong, and I wasnt good enough again. Or I chickened out again just like when it really was hurting so bad. Like I deserve it not to get fucked if I didnt do it good enough for him to make him want to rape my ass. I keep thinking he does what he wants anyway and most times he tells me when he really wants me to do something so whatever.

I must have of fell asleep, cos I woke up when he pushed me off on the floor. It was like already 2 in the morning and he's moving on to bed, so I get up and go after him. I'm feeling sick still, my balls got my stomach in a vise grip, but its not anymore like I'm gonna throw up any sec more like I got punched in the guts for 3 hours and no breaks. Hes already under the blanket and its looking like hes gonna go sleep. No good night fuck like always? what did I do wrong today?? So I slip in too and he turns around and says you want a fuck huh? Of course I want to say YES PLEASE but then he's not doing it for sure or he does it so I am DEF!! not gonna like it and if I say no or not really or something, he might fuck me over really bad so I cant go work tomorrow or he might say ok and just sleep. Its like I never know, damn if i say one thing and damn if I say the other. Hes not waiting for what I say anyways and just grabbing my neck down to blow him. Goes fast and hes asleep right after. I feel still real sick so for today its ok by me and I cuddle up after hes really asleep. He seems happy and thats what counts.

Boring Day

For a Monday it was real slow at work today... boring. Sat around on my ass most of the day. At lunch me and some of the guys drove over to this big tasco place. Was fun, like 9 of us piling in Greg's old Suburban. Most days I go grab a sandwich or somethin and catnap half an hour in my truck.

Called my bf to see if I could come over after work. A lot of times I just go and wait for him to get home but when I'm like tired or cold I call, been waiting so many times for hours near his place till he got home late. He said yeah if I want but he's in the mood for something thats really gonna hurt so it's up to me if I want or not. He didn't sound like he really wanted me over tonight and I'm still hurting from yesterday and was real tired anyways so I went to my place and like went to sleep a little. I'm always so way behind on sleep. Am kind of glad I could chose to go or not I need a break evryonce in a wile. Tomorrow is another day.

So theirs not really much to tell today. Got nice and warm tho most of the day.

Friday I need to go to my checkup at the doc's again. T-cell counts and all that. Hope he's just gonna say its all good still. Glad when thats over again.