One more nasty thing so I'm done with it

He my bf was still kinda crappy with me after I was at Mitchells but at least I wasn't dumped and he let me stay over and fucked me. But he hardly talked with me so I kept quiet and let him do whatever. When he fucked me he tried just to get off and not make it fun for me but I was so happy he didn't dump me I got off anyways.

So the next weekend we went to like this bar to hang out with a couple of the guys from the group for beers and Mitchell was their too. He kind of parked me at the bar between some black guys from the army in Fort Hood and told me to stay with my ass on that chair. I didnt like being between all the black guys. This was just a social thing not even in uniform like always. The black guys were like all of them with bling and gold chains and all that shit and talking in their funny way. I hate black guys. You would too if you was locked up with 3 horny other blacks a little older in a room for 2 weeks in juvi and got beat and raped. They would even beat me up if i was gonna bend over for them anyways, just for kicks and beating up on a white guy. Anyways.

So my bf was hanging with Mitchell on the other side and then he came over and wanted my truck keys cos he and Mitchell were gonna go somewhere and we came in my truck. He said to the others in case they didnt get back in time if they would give me a ride home. Then they took off. He didnt come back for a long time and I was gonna go away from the bar but they said if i wasnt told to sit right their or what?? So I stayed I didnt want to get in a tiff with them. Then I had to piss and when I got up they said I wasnt suposed to and I said I got to piss from all the beer so they said oh ok but one of them came right after me. At the urinal he stood like right behind me, and I was thinking what the fuck but I better didnt say nothing. And then he says if I like black dick and I was a cocksucker for sure and I was like no I'm not. And then he was like if I was going to piss or what, so I couldnt just not do it and I had to really bad anyways so I got my dick out and started to piss and he was like right behind me. A foot taller then me abouts and he was looking over my shoulder and said come on show me what youve got and I told him to leave me alone but he just pulled my pants down all the way and said come on all white boys love black dick. This was NOT good, I needed to get this horny fucker away from me. When I was done pissing he turned me around and made fun of me and said haha white dicks are always so little but then he let me pull up my pants. Before he let me leave the restroom tho he grabbed my ass and said nice one and if I ever got some black dick up their for good. I just shook my head, that was about the last thing I'd do, tell him yeah and how much I hated it and getting into all that.

So back at the bar I sat on my chair again and was praying my bf and Mitchell would show up soon but it got later and later and the other guys all started to leave. So the three black fuckers left with me at the bar said we better get going and where I was wanting to go and even though I was wanting to go to my bfs house I wasnt sure if that was cool to tell them so I said Addison to my place. And they said hey if we give you a ride you're inviting us right and I had to pay my tab and theirs. I almost didnt have enough cash on me for that. ASSHOLES. God if I didnt love my bf so much I would of have never joined that stupid group. I always only get fucked with!

So we're out to the parking lot and they got like this old crown vic on huge rims. Old police car only painted in like a weird metal flake color and 22 inchers on them. And a real shitty lift kit, the wheels wont even turn much without scratching the fender and making wierd noises. This is like so stupid! He had to go like 10 times frowards and back to get out of the parking space. I had to get in the back and the guy next to me got like frisky fast. Like how much I was wanting to suck all their dicks and that for sure I was hoping to get all their dicks up my ass and get like fucked real good. All I said was no and just get me home but this got too weird and the guy was still backing the car out cos of the stupid rims and I was thinking I better walk home or get me a cab but after paying their tabs I had not enough for a cab but even hitchhiking would be better. So I thought I get out of here but then the door didnt open and the guy next to me saw that and laughed like really hard and he said dude child locks! And that little white boys get scared too easy of some real dicks thats why. I knew then I was in big trouble and when we got on the road they didnt turn on I20 to Dallas but the other way and I knew they werent dropping me off like they said. Insted they drove all the way to Fort Worth and then south and stopped at some shithole trailer park full of rundown singlewides. At first I was trying to say like hey your going the wrong way but they were all like hey dude we just party some more with you and that they knew I was like dying to ride some black dick and show how good I can suck cock and all that. The guy in the back with me got really frisky with me and tried to get my head down in his crotch but I was fighting him and they guys in the front were like laughing and telling him to warm me up a little and we like really struggled in the back. He guy could have just whacked me they were all big guys and fit with muscles a lot, all much taller and bigger then me. But he was just playing with me, till he got my shirt off and my t, and I fought it. When he got my shirt off he put it up front like a trophy and then same with my tshirt.

Then he was just feeling me up all over and telling the guys up front how white I was and a firm bubble ass and like wrestling me around. In the end for the last couple miles he had me like sitting on his lap and pushed forward so that he was like behind and over me and his arm around my neck chocking a little and my head between the front seats. The fucker on the passenger seat was taking to me how much I was gonna get off getting pounded by them and I'd love the party with them. Yeah right! fuck that. I was just thinking how I could get out of this and I didnt see much options ;-( I started wondering too if I got set up for this or if they just thought they could do it with me. But I couldnt see my bf doing this to me, he knows what I've been through in juvi and jail and how much I hate blacks. Anyway theirs no point now I got to get through this.

So when they stop at the trailer i dont want to get out and I fight them and trying to tell them I want to go home. Fat chance. They're just laughing and high5ing and saying the little white fucker is scared of some real dicks and all that. So they end up pulling me out of the crown vic in the end by my legs and I'm like really fighting them, kicking with my sneaks but their not getting like really mad its more like they get off on me fighting it. And maybe cos I couldnt really kick any of them hard enough to make them mad. So after they get me out they push me over the trunk down hard, two of them, and the other unlocks the door to the singlewide. The two guys like feel me up and feel up my ass and between my legs and keep telling me how much I'm wanting it and its just my stupid white pride that keeps me fighting it and no worries they'd help me get over it fast. So then they push me inside and that trailer is a fucking DUMP! Trash everywhere and I see a roach in the sink and tons of empty bottles and like half the lights are broken. They push me on the dirty floor and I'm lying on my back and they are standing around me and one says what should we do first with the little bitch.

I'm trying to get up and making a last effort to get out and run but they keep pushing me down. And say what a feistty little white boy. I didnt think blacks would even know they workd feisty the way they talk smack. So one says hey kiddo dont you want to strip for us we know how much you want to suck and ride real cocks. And one of them kicks me like a bit to get me moving and so I kick one of them in the shin really hard and I got him and he gets all mad and says you little SHIT your sucking me first for that. Its turning a little sour now and they let me get up and I say no way (and even get it out in one piece) and I want out. But they guy I kicked says stop this shit and get down and I look him in the eye and say no way and I get that out clean too! I'm really scared but I'm not just giving in. Plus I know how these people are. I've been through it too often they are going to fuck me over anyways before they get their fun. Its like racism backwards and they're doing it. At least I want to keep my pride. It still really really bugs me today how, back when in juvi, I was just trying to bend over for them to fuck me so they would stop hurting me so bad, and they never did anyways only I felt like shit afterwards cos I didnt even try to fight it. If their was anything I could do I would not just let them and I was for sure not just gonna suck his fucking black dick and FOR SURE i wouldnt be stripping for them like I was wanting it with them. No fucking way. I was scared shitless but I know how it works and I was really proud of myself how I was handling it and not just cave in like a sissy. Didnt make me feel a lot better cos I know what I'm in for and that it wouldnt be easy.

So then the guy that was behind me suddenly grabs my arms and pulls me tight, and the guy I kicked pulls down his sweat pants and strokes his dick a little and gets hard and says he knows how much I'm dying to suck this. He's pretty big and it makes me feel sick looking at it. Its not fair they got big dicks all of them, or most at least. All I say is FUCK YOU and I start kicking and bucking around. But he just stepped back a little so I couldnt reach him and I try to kick back, the guy that was holding me so tight, but he just grabs me harder and then runs forward like fast and slams me in the corner next to the door and hard! Its hurting my shoulder and my ribs, and he steps back and does it like 3 more times. That really hurts and I quit the kicking and I'm like a little hanging off him. Then the third guy comes up and he says you fuckers are all the same, putting up a big show and then beg to get black cocks up your ass and then you feel all guilty in your white skin. And he says to the guy thats holding me maybe we should just make him fucking beg if hes gonna be such a dickhead. Then he stands like right in front of me and starts twisting my nipples and says if I kick him or kick ever again he would break my legs. He is twisting really hard and I have to wince and I get a little teary. The other guy is really holding me tight.

The the nipple twister says if I'm now a good like white cocksucker and do what he knows I want anyways, and party with them and get off good or if I was gonna be a fucker that needs to learn how to beg and not make such a fucking stink first up. My choice. My head is racing, I'm thinking I get it one way or the other and maybe these three are different and their not gonna bet the crap out of me first and then fuck, maybe if I swallow my pride since its too late now anyways I get away just with some fucking and sucking and they use maybe rubbers too if I ask. Who knows what else they all got, I'm poz but they prolly have all kinds of STDs anyways. Then it dawns on my maybe see havent seen the plus under my group tatt so I say guys I'm POZ like thats a way out. They all just laugh real hard like I made a huge joke and the guy in front of me says he was knowing all I was thinking about was getting fucked!! It dawned on my that was a mistake to say it cos they knew I was thinking about the fucks. Damn!

So the guy says whats it gonna be, good white fuck boy or bad white fuck boy? I'm looking in his eyes, and I just KNOW he's just wanting to get to me. He is like all the other black fuckers with a white guy, they were going to beat me anyways and fuck or whatever. So I say fuck you, but I was also so scared it was more like a whisper then like really saying it. And he like YELLS in my face MOTHERFUCKER!!! And then he starts punching me hard in my guts, like so hard it pushes all the air out of my lungs. The guy that has his dick still out says hit low or hes gonna puke on the floor. And the guy keeps hammering. Its like getting a baseball bat rammed in, and low, belly button and below. At first I tried to flex my abs but I didnt last more then maybe the first 5 and then he is going all the way in. I'm like bending over and cramping up but the big guy holding me pulls me up tight and so I'm almost off the floor with my sneaks. Then the guy stops punching and looks me in the eye and says oh hes already crying! But I wasnt he was just making fun of me. And he says you white sissy boys are all the same, big mouth and cant even take a beating. And if I was now wanting to be a good white fucking cocksucker or what. I didnt say nothing just kind of gave him a mad look. SO he grins and pushed my head back with my chin as far as it goes against the guy holding me and thentakes a swing and hits me in the balls, and hard. I expected he would hit me in the abs again cos i was more stretched with him pushing my chin up and he got me good. I didnt want to but I had to yell out. He kept pushing my chin back and I tried to get my knees together protect myself some but their wasnt much room. The second one was even worse. The guy must be a boxer or something, not just work out a lot. I get my balls hit a LOT but his swings really got to me. I had to really scream, and I got tears. It really hurt, I was kind of coughing for air.

Fucking assholes thats no fair three on one. But since when are horny black motherfuckers ever fair. I would write something different for black onhere but I'm not sure if the blog company is ok with that. Thats what I was thinking though! And saying. I got like really mad cos I knew i was gonne get fucke dup more and it just wasnt fair. He took another swing at my balls, and it kinda started me cracking. I really had to scream cos it hurt so bad, it felt i was getting wet in my pants and i was afraid i was bleeding or something. And I really hated that I start to cry. The guy thats been hitting me says like with disgust see not even 5 minutes and the fucking sissy is ready to beg for real dicks. And then, so your ready or what? I was so desperite and mad that they got me like this. And also so fucking mad that now I was in the same fucking situation like when i was 16 and 17 in juvi and I was swearing to myself that I would never ever get in their again and with these kind of black assholes. And now its all the same over again! And then I was thinking, if I just gave in now maybe they wouldnt hurt me more and that was it already. And what my boyfriend would think how I should handle it, like what if he was watching? I know if he were like really their, he'd want me to be a lot tuffer and not just give up after like this. And who knows maybe this would get back to him somehow, after all these mofos are in the group too. Just cos I was so mad and desperite, and thinking about what he would think, he thought what the fuck to myself and said to the guy "YOU FUCKING N.....S" (I'm just not writing it here just in case).

Of course they all got really pissed. Got me 2 full swings in the balls bangbang, and then the guy holding me let me drop. Theywere like all cussing at me now, the usual stuff. When he let me off I was on my knees holding my balls, bent over but I didnt go on the dirty floor. But then the guy what had been hitting me kicked me hard in the side and they all got down over me and the first guy still had his dick handing out it flopped all over. They were very ruff stripping me and it was fast. They just ripped off my sneaks and socks and pulled my jeans down and off. They had me like totally pinned down. The then guy that was holding me before said if I was gonna pull down my briefs for them and show me what I got. Even if I had wanted to say yes I couldnt because of of them had his knee on my throat and pinned down so I couldnt. They took it as a no or didnt even wait for me to say something and one of them nailed me hard, like he wanted to squish my balls between his fist and my bones. I screamed really bad but with the guys leg on my throat nothing much came out. They nailed me a couple more times and I was wanting to pull down my briefs to make it stop but they had my arms pinned down too I couldnt move more then some fingers and could do nothing. I was ready to give in and do whatever, I hope my bf would be really proud of me I held out so long. I felt so fucking bad that after 10 years the same fucking thing was happening AGAIN and so bad as it was back then.

Then the guy let off a little with his leg and one of them asked if I was gonna stip my briefs now for them and beg for their cocks but before I could say YES YES YES they nailed me again. If their was anyone in the other trailers around they would of have heard me, it was a ballbreaker hit for sure. So I was like I do it I do it as much as I could in my sobbing. I was WAY over putting up the tuff act they fucked with me too bad. They all got up and I just pulled my legs up and held my balls and they were still in one piece. They were like so DO IT and then they pulled me up and said do it sexy or they really go and make me beg for their dicks. I had a hard time standing straight and they said dance and strip white boy. I knew I better or it be worse but it was hard to do. I guess i wasnt too bad for them but it was like really humilaiting. Then I was standing their with my head down not sure what next. And the guy that was holding me before came up from behind and put his hand under my chin and pulled it up and said if I was gonna beg now. GOD! This is like against everything but I thought I better get through it the faster the better. So I did and he was feeling me up and said do it like you mean it we know you want it just let it out and say it for real till I did. This really hurt bad inside to beg them to let me suck them and get fucked. They made me say I really loved to get fucked by black dicks and that theirs are the real ones and the only ones to really get a white cocksucker off and all that. THAT SUCKED SO BAD!!

So then they wanted me to pick which dick to suck first but I didnt know whats best to do cos I didnt want to tick them off anymore so the guy that still had his dick out said come here, and the guy behind me pushed me so I fell down on my knees right in front of him. He had his dick boned up and it was big but ugly cos its black. Then he said yeah admire it cos we got to get something else and he told the third guy to get the little box from the car. They were doing tina (cyrstal meth) but they were kind of short so they said your white ass aint getting nothing. I was REALLY glad cos Ive been clean over 3 years and when I saw they had tina I got scared to death they would make me too and I would get back in the same old again. PUH!!

So then the guy grabbed my head and pushed me down on his dick. Oh man he smelled bad! Blacks stink anyway but he really was stinking. Then he pulled me back up and said if i was gonna bite or just scrape he would knock out every single tooth I got so to watch out. I remember how much it cost me last time just to get one fixed that I got kocked out so I was really careful. But I hated it. Not a black dick and a stinking one so I just tried to lick his head some but I wasnt gonna get away with that. Teh guy tried to push me down harder on his dick but I was kind of pulling back and he said to the others the white cocksucker cant even suck right!! They were laughing and I felt one of them grabbing my balls from behind between my legs and crunching them so I really went down on him but he kept working them hard so I cant help it but I like flexxed a little and scratched the guys boner a little with my teeth and he got mad and pulled me up and punched me on the side of my face that I got a little dizzy and he said you already forgot what I do with your fucking teeth??? then he pushed me down again and this time all the way way behind my choke reflex and he kept me down on it and the other guy was still working my balls. I was getting panicky and tried to push off the couch he was sitting on with my arms but he forced down my head and didnt let up and I couldnt get air! He punched my head on the side again a couple times and said watch your fucking teeth! Then he let up a little so i could get some air and I got a full whiff of his stink and it was BAD. Then he fucked my throat alittle but I guess he didnt like it too much cos he pulled me all the way up so i was straight on my knees and he bent forward and let his hands slide down from my head to my shoulders and grabbed me real right and squeezed. He said you little white fuckboy first you put up the big i hate the n....s show and in less then 10 minutes your begging to suck and ride some real dicks and now you dont even suck good. And that I should better do it good or his friends was gonna have my balls for a LOT worse then before. And the guy still had me by my really supersore balls and really yanked on them and squeezed hard. I jerked bad and wanted to crunch over but the guy still had me tight by the shoulders so I threw my head back and I hit the guys head behind me, I really banged into his head. That guy took his other hand and held my head back and squeezed harder. I tried to get his hands off my balls but their was no way and so I grabbed his legs behind me to have something to hold on to. And he said white boy you better put up a good show now... he didnt say what the 'else' would be but I knew anyways. Then he let me head go and let off a little on my balls and I went down on the guy. I really tried to do it good but he smelled so bad and he kept ushing my head right so that his boner was right on my gag reflex. I was feeling I got sick, mostly cos it was a black dick in my throat but also cos he stank so bad and cos my balls hurt so bad. I didnt dare stop but I felt it coming and then it was and I tried to get off so I wouldnt go sick all over his crotch but he didnt let me and kept pushing me down. And then it happened, it wasnt my fault and I heard the other two yelling of fucking shit what an asshole, and the guy let go of my balls, but the guy i was sucking didnt let me off. He just slid down the couch a little more and locked his hands behind my head and he really started fucking my throat even with me puking still. This was really sick, and I got panic cos I couldnt get air and when I got a little suck it got puke in my lungs and cughed and he still kept going and then kicking my guts with his knees yelling watch your teeth watch your FUCKING teeth!! Finally he cums and just as I got a little air and I inhaled some if not most. He still didnt let go of me and so my head is still in his stinking crotch only now its even a lot worse with my puke in it and I'm coughing like crazy and trying to get air. Finally he lets off and I fall back and get on all fours trying to get air. I'm spitting his cum and some puke like it fucking dont matters on that floor...

Their all like disgusted and saying this fucker sucks and the thrid guy is like i just want to fuck him up!!! But the guy I just sucked off is laughing and he gets up and just throws the blanket and the cushion I puked on out the door. The he says hes got to take a shower (FUCK YEAH YOU DO) and I could suck them but they not really wanting to. I catch my breath after a while and just kind sit on the floor. I got my own puke on my shoulders and my chest and in my face but theirs nothing to wipe it. Their both watching me and I look away. I hear the other guy in the shower, I'm kinf od surprised the showers working in this fucked up piece of shit trailer. So then they two turn on the boom box in the corner, like really loud. Black music with like a lot of bass, boom boom. And they say to me to dance, and when I'm not like jumping up one of them is like pretending to get up like he was coming for me so I jump up which really isnt easy, I'm fucking sore.

Im in no mood to dance so I do as best I can. The tina has like totally kicked in with them now they both stroking their boners and the guy that was holding me at first either has weird pants that make his dick look huge, or he has a really huge one for real. So then the guy comes out of the shower and says fucking awesome we get the parteee goin and he gives me a quart and says dance and drink this. I'm taking a sip but he says I said drink it and he comes back and takes it from me and says open up and then he makes me drink it. He wont barely let me swallow, only when I couff cos its burning like hell. He didnt even dry off after the shower and he is naked. The other 2 are stripping now too and I feel miserable. I feel the booze run down in me and its getting to me fast. They tell me to keep dancing and with the booze kicking in some its getting easier. They say I should get a boner up and I try but its taking me a while till I got mine stiff. Of course their making fun of me. The one guy really has a HUGE one. Their just watching and stroking some. Then the first one says whos first and the third guy says me but I dont want to dig in his shit and they all get up and grab me and push me in the little bathroom in the shower. They are real rough and turn on the water to hot only and it is hot! Then they shower me off first like the puke and cum and its almost burning me, like really fucking close. I'm wet and their mostly too. They still all got raging boners. Then one screws off the shower head and I think their putting this up my ass and so hot so I try to get away and out of the shower but they wrestle me down and force it in. I'm screaming the house down cos it stings and burns like HELL. Their cleaning me out good, it stinks like hell, and when their done finally, I'm sobbing like crazy and I'm not fighting anything anymore.

They carry me more then I walk back in the main room and throw me on the bed and the third guy just gets like over me and fucks. I dont even feel a lot, my ass is burning like hell and he's fast. Im like desperite cos their not using no rubbers. The guy is telling me to say how great his black dick feels in my ass and I do it just so it wont get any worse but for real I couldnt give a flying fuck. When he cums I guess he likes it cos he grunts like an animal that he is and says to the other 2 fuck thats a tight ass for a white fuck boy. And he wants me to say how great it was for me and that I dont know why I was fighting is. I'm saying it but of course i didnt mean it. Then the guy with the huge dick. He's at least working it in a bit but hes still huge and its hard on me. My ass isnt burning so bad anymore and that guy can fuck. He fucks rough and hard but I like that anyways. I start HATING myself for this but it feels good. After a little while hes like see the white fuck boy digs it and he fucks harder and its like hes impaling me on this thing. Then he also wants me to say how fucking great his huge black dick feels in my pussyboy white ass and I do and I HATE myself for knowing it does a little. Hes taking his time and not just blowing his load like the first one and after a bit I cant help it but I get really into it and when he cums I cum too. I HATE HATE HATE myself for getting off on a black dick. Of course their having a field day they made me cumming. The last guy isnt ready for a fuck yet he blew his load already so their having me lick them and humilate me more and later they cuff me with my hands behind my back to the pole of the kitchen table foldout. It sucks to lie in the dirt of the floor listen to them snoring and I'm cold and naked.

This was going on all Saturday and the night and all Sunday till afternoon and on and off. Blowing one of them, getting fucked, they did get a little ruff with me in between or when I was too tired to be a power bottom but nothing like at first. I was wondering if my bf wasnt missing me and was dreaming about him coming to rescue me or something.

Then finally Sunday afternoon we all leave and i see the place by day. God this is even more run down like what it looked at night. They just leave the cushion and the blanket with the puke outside where they threw it out. Their just letting me out at the first DART station that goes into Dallas and at least they give me 5 bucks for the tickets and my shirt back. Took me like an hour to get to the DART station near my bfs house and walking the last mile or so takes like the last out of me. I feel like S-H-I-T and I'm like really fucking depressed. Its like I go in the same cicles all over again, I thought I was way over that shit.

I kept like daydreaming how my bf would be like all upset and feel horrible for me for this and do something about it, like within the group or something. And I'm wondering where my truck is, at his house or where. I see it parked nearby where I leave it always when I'm home (at his house) but he's not their and his car either. At least I find my keys on the tire and I just lie on the bench and take a nap. Its like I almost passed out on the bench the second I got on it. When I wake up someones knocking on the window. Its my bf. And behind him is Mitchells youngest and grinning from ear to ear. The kid is fucking cute and I hate hes blond too. But I'm trying not to think that cos its Mitchells son and thats only trouble. I dont think its any smart of my bf to hang with him.

So my bf says if im living in my truck now or what and he says you look like shit and hes gonna drive me home and the kid is following in his Volvo. On the way he says he figured I was gonna hook up with them and it went sour huh? I'm trying to say something and I want to explain but I cant get nothing out. I get stuck on like very word so I give up. He just keeps going about he bets I took them bare too and what a slut I am and I better get tested for STDs before hes putting his dick anywhere. I'm about ready to cry this is SOOOO not fair.

And THEN!! he says... see thats what its like if bad shit happens to you that you dont want. Like when you lie to me. And then hes not saying one more word till we get to my place and he just gets out and the kid gets out of the drivers seat of his Volvo so he can get in and they take off. I'm crying all the way up to my place and then i really totally break down and I swear I never ever ever ever lie to him again.

Puh. I'm glad I got this shit writen up and done with it.