finally this is soo past due - Valentines

yeah right.. "PAST DUE" like it says on some of the mail i get .. anyways. I've been so busy now I can catch up some. Didn't write anything really since the day before Valentines. So I'm just gonna write the big stuff cos I'm not sure if I get all the days right.

So VALENTINES. I figured I was in for something thats like the total oppisite of what everyone else gets. Since the days before were so great and all, I was sure my bf would do something like real mean or hurt me or both. Like paying up for the days before. He called me at work just before it was going home time and said to go home (thats to my place) and dress a little nicer not the slob I usually am. Thats what he said, I dont look like a slob but he's always like that. Like a shirt or so at least. So I go home and put on some cotton pants and a shirt and then he's about their to pick me up. I'm kinda like real curious but I dont fall for it so easy. He does that a lot that he makes me think one thing and then does like totally the other. I figured he was just trying to make me think we're gonna do something nice I have to dress up for and then he beats the crap out of me in some ditch so all my nice cloths get dirty or messed up. But nothing like that. We're going to some real nice restaurant and hes got a reservation for us but first we go to the bar and he orders like Vodka Martinis. He told them to hold the table we were gonna go hang out at the bar first. I thought that was kinda bold cos the place was fucking FULL. Like everybody was going on Valentines. We had like 2 vodka martinis and then he told the hostess chick we're ready and our table was! I was kinda pretty sure now we had to wait but they kept the table open the entire time. I was just thinking what the fuck?? anyways. So we get this real cute waiter, he looked more like he was just 18. He rattles down like all the specials they got for Valentines, and then he says they also got a special for two like a love special cos its Valentines. Like if we were their for that. So my bf says if we look like some fags to him and at first the guy almost faints, like hes so embarrassed but then my bf is laughing and tells him its ok he makes weird jokes sometimes and he orders the "love special". Its like 3 corse with a bottl e of wine and noodles with chicken and some stuff to pick from like a small bufet cos maybe not both like the same stuff. And fucking expensive!! $65 for 2 without the wine. The waiter dude looks totally releeved like he got out of that one. But hes still like totally red in the face, I guess he didnt know how to take that one and hes like SUPER paying attention till we're gone later. My bf is like in a real good mood and hes talking and making jokes and its like really cool.. only I cant help it, it feels to me like this is just upping it and later I get sooo FUCKED UP. This can't be as good as it is looking, theirs got to be something to it. So the dude brings the appetizers and we're like on our 3rd glass of wine, cos their like really busy. Between taking our order and bringing the appetizers he came by like 10 times at Least!! to check on us. My bf has him bring a new bottle, I figured now we're def already over $100. We were anyways with the drinks before. He never spends like this, and its like my stomach is cramping up some cos I'd rather gone like to chinese takeout and maybe have a sweet night and not go out all fancy and get seriously fucked up later, an on valentines. I was feeling all depressed all day anyways. I mean I love my bf and I dig the stuff we do, even if its sometimes a little crazy, but like on a day like Valentines, cant we be a little nice at least and do what all other boyfriends and girlfriends like for the straights do? This feels like it is going to have a real terrible ending. At least for me. But hey.. if thats what he wants, so be it and I make the best of it. I try to kinda check him out and get a read on him but he's not tipping me off AT ALL. He's just in a real good mood, being funny, talking about work and s-u-p-e-r patient when I'm trying to say stuff and cos I'm so nervous I'm studdering even more then normal. I kind of wish the floor would open up and I'd fall in it and it would be all over.

Anyways, he's in noo hurry and enjoying it. With all the wine and the 2 drinks before I'm getting buzzed. It was kinda hard for me to eat some of the appetizers cos my throat is like clogged and I'm not hungry a lot. But with a good buzz going on I'm kind of relaxing and I'm like kinda glad he's getting buzzed some too. Then we get the main entre and I'm like on my 5th glass and he on his 4th, adn the waiter is a little chill now and he and my bf make jokes about if we like our love meal and that shit and it's like really starting to be fun, and I'm not thinking to much about what it all means maybe. I think the waiter is starting to like us, and he's not bringing like the next corse before we finish, like as if the place was empty and they didnt care how long we sit their. When its in fact like totally crowded and kind of loud. Thats nice. I'm like happy my bf has some pull or gets some respect or whatever and we get to have our sweet ass time. So in the middle of the entres (theirs a big heart on the noddles with tomato sauce and the chicken is like on the side and looking like little hearts too) this guy comes up to our table and its like someone my bf knows and theirs like a big hello with them. I've never seen the guy and my bf like introduce us. He is Justin, good looking guy with muscles and maybe 35 ish or so. My bf says I'm Kevin but nothing more really and the guy shakes my hand. He's sitting with us for a bit and the waiter shows up like in 10 seconds after he sits down and brings like a wine glass for him in like 30 seconds more. I really wonder whats going on cos waiters are never like bending over like this. anyways. That kills the 2nd bottle and my bf gets the next. I got a serious buzz going already. So Justin is like all real nice and asks me what I do and maybe its the booze or what but I even get it out fairly straight! So then he asks my bf how come hes never seen me around and that I'm cute, and he is laughiung and says "cute? hes a hot fuck" and they both laugh and Justin wants to know how long weve known each other and he says 2 years about. I totally get it that Justin must know him better cos everyone else would of have said how long we've been together but he said how long known. At first I'm not sure if I should be a little annoyed that I'm just like a hot fuck and not like boyfriend or cool guy or friend or whatever, or if its just his way to say something nice. But I guess cos of all the booze I forget about it fast. And then Justin takes off anyways after hes done with his wine.

Before dessert my bf says we better let this go down first and he orders a double JD for both of us. I'm like beyond a buzz and cloe to be drunk. I dont drink much so it kicks real good. And he says we better not drive and we make the best of it. And then dessert and afterwards we have another double JD and coffee with foam on top. When we're done and with a fat tip for the waiter hes out over 400. Damn!! I know I should get really scared but I'm way to smashed to worry. Outside we catch a cab and drive to my place. He says we stay at my little eficiency and in the morning I'm gonna drive him back to his car before work. As I'm unlocking the door he puts his hand on my neck and it comes all back to me and I expect him to kick me in the back or something and starting to fuck me up - but nothing happens. He says if I got anything to drink before we go crash and all I got is some vodka but nothing to mix it with. So we drink it straight up and sit on the bed cos I dont have a sofa or anything and he lights up 2 cigs, one for him and one for me. And then after a little while he says if I'm wondering if he is gonna fuck me up now, like he can read my mind. I'm not so sure what I should say but I kinda nod cos thats exactly whats on my mind. And he laughs and says dude relax, your getting it but not tonite. And that its fucking Valentines and for once he's gonna do me right. And then he says thats my boy with a big smile and its true I am, cos im kinda releved.

So we're just sitting on the bed sipping on the vodka and smoking and he pulls me over so my head is in his crotch and looks down to me and puts his hand on my stomach and grins. And then it like dawns on me. he is like really gonna be nice. Looking up in his eyes like this and his hand on my stomach feels so good and I get a boner like I am sooooo fucking horny like from 1-60 in 5 secs ;-) He grins and says strip, like real casual and soft. So I get up and strip totally naked and fast and he does too and then he just like tips me in the back and I let myself fall flat on the bed on my stomach. I hear him rip the cover of the rubber and that nasty sound as it flips in his dick and then he's over me and says to put my ass up and then he RAMS it in. No lube and all the way. If he didnt let him fall himself on top of me I would have jumped right off his dick, squealing. I'm a little pissed at myself for squealing but fuck! And he is going, just the way I like it, hard, like he is trying to push his dick all the way up to my brain, or throat fuck me from my ass (thats how I like to imagine it what he's trying always). And he's not hitting me not squeezing my balls to hell, nothing. Only when he puts his hands on my shoulders I flinch for a second but thats all he does so he can put harder and hold me by my shoulders. This is fucking great!!!! I shoot like a huge load after like 10 mins or so and he keeps going. Like 20 mins or so and we slide off the bed some and I', like on my knees and flat over the bed on the side with my head buring in the covers. Then he cums and he cums GOOD. He even stays in my ass for a bit and I can feel him shake and he's massaging my shoulders and my back. This is soooo (!!!) fucking great. Then I feel him go soft a little and he pulls out and gets up to put the rubber away and pour more vodka and light up more cigs. I know this is like a real little thing, but I LOVE it when he lights up cigs for us both and puts it between my lips. I think that is sooo fucking hot. Like what boyfriends do, even if he doesnt mean it and maybe just thinks its cool or what. I could die for those moments.

So we're just on the bed smoking and drinking and he has his hand in my neck kinda massaging it and he is getting a boner again. I do down some and suck his dick and lick his balls and all and he is like rock hard and playing with my neck and the hair on the back of my head, like totally vanilla. Then he pulls me up and says maybe he should write my name again on my arm like before because tonite hes gonna fuck my brains out. And pushes me over and I cant wait for him to get the damn rubber on. Thats when I hate that I'm poz, it would be soo omuch nicer if he didnt have to put those stupid things on. And then it's like a marathon fuck, and hes saying I'm cumming first but of course I cant after I just blew like a huge load but he dont care and keeps fucking. Working my balls too, some, so I tell him even if he wants to be all nice go for my nutz and he does. He has to put his hand over my mouth some because in my little place the walls are like real thin. Its like over an hour and then I pump a huge load out again, and cos he jerks me up when im cumming its all over both pillows and like a big mess all over the bed, and he keeps pumping even harder and then he cums too. He lets me just plop down and then flips me over so I am on my back and he pulls off the rubber and says open up and lets it all run down in my mouth. Like, what all got in my mouth, half is like all over my face. I'm trying to get it with my fingers to lick them and he is like breathing real heavy and sitting on my knees. He only slides over a bit to get the cigs and the lighter and lights up 2 more for us. He says damn this is a mess and it is. Under me I can feel the cum thats still wet from me, and his is all over my face and we're both like sweaty. He says I guess you have to wash the bed anyways and ashes on my belly. Lol so I do too, and it stays cos of the sweat and he starts writing something with it, like ash and sweat. Feels great. I lie flat on my back so i cant read it and try to feel what he is writing but i cant make it out. So I ask him and he says its "bitch" and he needs more ash. This is fucking hot and feels great and even tho I'm like empty, I dont have a drop of cum left in me, I get a boner again. He's done writing bitch on my stomach and starts playing with my nuts. He isnt hitting them or anything, just playing, rolling them around, flicking them some, light slaps just that kind and my boner is fucking throbbing. And he reaches over and gets another rubber but just puts it on my chest and keeps playing with my balls, alittle rougher but not much and slapping my dick a little. I couldnt get any harder then this and put my hands behind my neck cos I know how much he likes how that makes my stomach stretch up. He gets off my knees and I pull my legs up some and open up wide and he sits between my legs, like on his knees and keeps slapping my balls and playing with them. I'm just lying their with my eyes closed and wondering if my dick is gonna burst cos this is so great. Then he leans forward and plays with my nipples but HARD so I yelp and bend up and he is right over me and my arms just fly around and its like I am hugging him. And his face is like 3 inches from mine and he stares me in the eyes. Its like whos gonna flinch first and look away, sort of. I'm holding on to him and he grabs my legs and pulls them up and I am holding. He goes up a little and pulls me up. He is now on his knees and I am almost only on my shoulders and neck and he lets his hands slide up to my ankles and holding my legs. And as he pulls me upI feel his boner right on my balls. The rubber from my chest was sliding off next to my face as he pulls me higher and then I lock my legs behind him and let go with my hands. He is holding for a second and feels me up on my stomach, sort of wiping the 'bitch' off. But it feels fucking great, I sort of came again but I didnt have no cum left just maybe a drop or so. He grabs the rubber and puts it between my teeth to so hold the corner and he rips it open. And puts it on. Since I sort of came I got sift a little but he is rock hard i can feel it between my legs and on my balls. I am like hanging down from his neck by my legs and he is up on his knees so I only lay on my neck and a little on my shoulders. Then he grabs my legs, like at the thighs and tight, and spreds them and shoves it in, and then he bends down but doesnt let go of my thighs so hes almost breaking my back as he starts pumping hard. But since I'm hanging so weird from him its like his dick is drilling right into my prostate and I'm about to go crazy!!! And I know he knows, I bet he can tell cos I'm wailing like a horny whore. But its like he is trying to break my neck and I'm trying to paddle back with my arms so my spine wont break but its more like flopping around with my arms for no good reason. I'm trying to reach the headboard to pull myself up but i cant reach it. He is hitting my prostate hard like hes trying to drill ahole in it and its almost too much. I'm jerkng left and right to get his dick away but I can only move my upper body he got my thighs so tight I cant move my ass around. Its not that it like really hurts its just like my ass is about to explode and my prostate and I'm wanting to cum but I'm so fucking empty! And hes going like he hasnt fucked in a week and its not the 3rd time in a row!! I'm seriously going crazy I can't take it anymore and I'm begging him to go easy but of course he isnt, he just pulls me a little tighter even and fucks harder. My ass feels like its in fever and I can feel my prostate like its growing and growing and about to blow up. I dont feel the pain in my back so much anymore like its gone numb or something and I am going seriously NUTS. Like flashes and my ears pop and I hear myself howl but I dont feel it and I see my dick get hard but I dont feel that also. Its like hes fucking into my prostate and with every push its about to give in more and more till it blows up. Its too much and i feel tears running down my face and I beg and beg him but I dont think is more then weird mumbles that come out of my mouth and I start seeing black clouds with stars and then its like my ass blows up and its like this brightness all around me. I'm CUMMMMING and even though it should have been like dry cum organism, i feel it shoot in my face like he squeezed it out of me somehow their shouldnt have been any. I think I screamed really loud too and then I'm like totally no power and he lets go of my legs and I'm just like hanging all limp from him and he cums too.

then he gets up and I just flop down and cant move. My heart is like racing and I'm wet from sweat and cum and the bed is wet under me from sweat too. My head is spinning and I cant move and I dont want to. I hear him go taking a piss and he smokes one more and I'm about to fall asleep. More like starting to pass out. I'm thinking damn when he says hes going to fuck my brains out he really does it. I'm wasted!!! But I feel fucking great, only its like I got pushed way far, like I'm really going crazy. Or at least sex crazy. It feels weird lying their with my legs spread far, my cum running down from my ribs on one side and I'm too tired to even wipe it. My arms on the side and I dont even want to move them one inch, like I have zero power left in me. And my back hurts like FUCK. I feel him get into the bed but I'm almost out and pull the covers over and flipping me some so we're like spooing and he puts his arm around me and he KISSES ME IN MY NECK!!! I'm in fucking heaven but only maybe 1 minute cos then I'm gone!

I think he may have humped me in the night but I'm not sure. When he wakes me up its day and i have a HUGE hangover. My head hurts real bad. He is still behind me spooning me and talking in my ear but it's like on a radio when the station isnt tuned in right, I hear him talking but its not getting in my brain. He's holding me tight and then its get to me he is saying its getting late we got to go but he isnt moving only his boner is poking in my back. I am thinking you cant be seriously fuck me again now .. and then I'm thinking I'm stupid of course he can and would but he isnt. He gets up but hes only coming around the bed and grabs me by my arm and pulls me out of the bed and then up so I'm on my knees and staring at his boner and he says to open up and wants me to suck. But I'm not too awake yet and sore and have a hangover so I cant get into it too good and suck lousy, I know. I'm trying but my mouth is so dry. He is horny though and he locks his hands behind my neck and throat fucks me, like with no mercy deep down. Since I'm so weak I have serious trouble getting air and he does it on purpose like push in and keep it in and then only pull back a little and real short so I can only get like a little bit of air. Its real fast I get in like real panic and try to push him away but theirs no chance he has his hands locked behind my head and wont let go and I get to buck and suck air like desperite when he pulls out a little. Its like his dick gets bigger in my throat every time he is pushing. With me hangover I'm getting a little dizzy with so little air and I grab his ass for like support and its like his muscles are hard as steel then he lets me get like one deep suck of air but he pushs back in before I can breath out, and then he lets me breath out but not get more air. And then he cums and as he cums he pulls out a little and I try to get air and all his cum gets in my lungs, like I'm even sucking it in! Then he pulls out and lets go of me and the rest of his cum goes all over me and I'm like coughing like CRAZY. I got most of his cum all in my lungs and it hurts and I am coughing and spitting and trying to get air all at the same time. Its taking me at least 10 mins till I am halfway back to normal, curled up on the floor, and he is already out of the shower and says to hurry up, its late.

I slouch in the shower like an old man, I'm so sore and still have to cough and spit some. I am worn out and I have a real bad hangover but after a HOTTTT shower I feel a lot better and good. I keep thinking I'm lucky he knows exactly how to treat me right and what I need. I got like one of those moments as I got in my clothes, like when you know its what you need if its fun or not sometimes. And I know its what I need, his fucks are like worse then the biggest drugs, like addictive. Only with drugs its like your always chasing the big one and it never comes, with him its like you get it only you have to have it over and over again. And I know cos I used to be a junkie real bad. With drugs its like your never satisfied and try over again and you know its still never really gonna happen but you cant stop anyways. With him its like OH MY GOD you get off like crazy and you want it all the time and more, and it dont matter at what cost. Anyway sometimes I get these flashes where I know myself.

So we rush out finally and he makes me stop at a Starbucks first. I'm like real antsy because I'm already late for work. He has like all the time in the world to chat up the chick behind the counter and then wait till some dickhead is finally ready putting his sugar and cream in so he can put his half and half in, and I just want to gogogogo cos I'm so late. Next to the milk and sugar counter is this geek, like about my age with a belly, like fat, and has his laptop on and is talking on the phone. Not just phone cos its like one of those hearing aid blutoth things and hes not just talking but yelling about programming something in flash like being all important and smart. Asshole. We're standing right next to him and hes yelling and it hurts in my head cos of the hangover. My bf is grinning from ear to ear and when we walk out he says if I heard that idiot and him talking about flash and he says that motherfucker has no clue that without the guy standing next to him therir wouldnt be no flash to program. I would have told the idiot but he is like that he would never like show off.

Anyways so I drop him off at his Volvo at the restaurant and the head off to work, and finish 2 bottles of water that i keep in the truck for my hangover. At work I'm running over to my boss to tell him I'm sorry for being late, but hes busy and doesnt want to listen to my studdering and just says its ok dont worry get going. Later i find out Shane been an ass and I missed it (thank hevens) and thats why he didnt care if i was late.

So that was Valentines.